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Posts Tagged ‘Jeremy Clarkson’

Top Gear cameramen somehow capture every moment of mad cap unpredictable race

The camera crew responsible for filming the unpredictable daredevil exploits of the Top Gear team are to be awarded a BAFTA prize for excellence after once again somehow managing to capture a stunt’s every moment of spontaneous outlandish action.

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Posted: Jun 11th, 2010
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Clarkson uses supercar to travel back to time before Political Correctness

'Nothing to complain about in the fifties. Until now.'‘Fortunately I’ve arrived in a time when they didn’t need a bunch of health and safety Commissars.’

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Posted: Jan 20th, 2010
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‘I need help’ says assisted-suicide bomber

a good way to get rid of the family this ChristmasA man who wishes to end it all in the manner of a suicide bomber is appealing against the refusal of the National Health Service to help him kill himself and everyone around him. ‘All I want to do is blow myself up’, said Colin Jessop, ‘but my doctor refuses to help me. He only has to pull the cord on my rucksack. But ‘Oh no’, it’s ‘medical ethics’ this and ‘Hippocratic Oath’ that. It’s political correctness gone mad.’

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Posted: Dec 14th, 2009
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BBC stands by Clarkson after he admits: ‘I shot JFK’

was he working alone, or did he get help from a hamster?BBC directors are said to be ‘a bit miffed’ by news that Jeremy Clarkson has admitted to assassinating former US President John F Kennedy.

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Posted: Sep 29th, 2009
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Man admits to buying small car to compensate for enormous penis

One lady ownerGenerously-endowed John ‘Holmes’ Harrison initially told acquaintances that he bought his 2008 Ford Ka for its road-handling, unique design features and ability to park in tight spots, but friends quickly saw through the story.

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Posted: Apr 24th, 2009
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