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Posts Tagged ‘Jeremy Hunt’

‘Jeremy Hunt shouldn’t work any days at all’, say doctors

National Self ServiceThe British Medical Association warned today that standards of patient care were being put at risk by Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt repeatedly travelling to his office and making fumbling attempts at doing his job. ‘It puts an intolerable strain on the Health Service,’ said one doctor who was too tired to remember his own name. ‘Every day there’s some stupid new idea, aimed only at placating the Daily Mail, that makes our jobs harder’.

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Posted: Jul 21st, 2015
More from Politics



NHS to buy all drugs ‘from a guy called Phil’

With the NHS now shown to be paying too much for medication, the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE) has centralised its purchasing by awarding a contract to a man known as ‘Phil’, who impressed a member of the purchasing team with a promise to deliver ‘top notch stuff’ at ‘well below the going rate’ during a chance encounter in a London nightclub.

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Posted: Feb 19th, 2015
More from News In Brief



Health Minister abolishes ‘NICE’; launches ‘NASTY’

Asked what this stood for, the Health Minister looked puzzled and said ‘It doesn’t stand for anything, that’s just its name.’

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Posted: Jan 13th, 2015
More from News In Brief



‘Here comes the big aeroplane’ parents given all-clear to resume feeding

still concerns that Mr Choo-Choo could be affected by leavesYoung mothers across Southern England breathed a collective sigh of relief after Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt announced that so-called ‘Here comes the big aeroplane’ spoon-feeding techniques could safely resume.

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Posted: Dec 14th, 2014
More from UK News



NHS to become online-only

Health Minister Jeremy Hunt has calculated that the NHS could save billions if it operated as a computer model, like the Matrix, instead of as a real-world service trying to treat sick people in 3D.

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Posted: Oct 18th, 2014
More from Health