Reincarnation, a luxury previously enjoyed only by rice-eating mystics who spend most of their lives in the lotus position, will soon be available to everyone with a National Insurance number, a government spokesman has revealed. [read...]
Jeremy Slatter, a polite and normal chartered surveyor from Bromsgrove, has emigrated to the USA, abandoning his career, his wife and their three children. Speaking to reporters as he embarked at Heathrow last night, Slatter said that the pressure of sharing his name with all of the most obnoxious twats in Britain had driven him… [read...]
Samsung has announced the MoneyDrane5000 HD4k8KUHDMCCOBE smart television whose advanced AI processor will allow it to watch, criticise, get bored with and channel hop television programmes by itself. Owners of the new television have given mixed reviews, [read...]
There was pandemonium at London’s Prince of Wales theatre last night as talk-show host Jeremy Kyle invaded the stage during a performance of hit musical ‘Mamma Mia’ in a bid to determine which of three men who had slept with a singer in the late 1970s was the father of 22-year-old Sophie. [read...]
Speaking from her youth detention centre in Feltham, Danielle Barnes says still believes in the notion of fate. The expectant 16 year-old said she trusts that all events in her life, including an appearance on the Jeremy Kyle show, [read...]
