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Posts Tagged ‘jeremy kyle’

‘Everything happens for a reason,’ says detained pregnant teen addict

Speaking from her youth detention centre in Feltham, Danielle Barnes says still believes in the notion of fate. The expectant 16 year-old said she trusts that all events in her life, including an appearance on the Jeremy Kyle show, has been predestined. ‘If I’ve learnt anything from the works of Sophocles,’ explained her community liason officer. ‘Jade’s life is building towards an unforgettable climax’.

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Posted: Oct 23rd, 2015
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Jeremy Corbyn to replace Jeremy Kyle

‘Apparently Jeremy Corbyn wants to try and make the show less confrontational but I’m sure we can talk him out of that,’ said an ITV spokesman. ‘He also wants the audience to write in with their questions, er – hell-o-o.’

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Posted: Sep 29th, 2015
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Jeremy Kyle fails to sort out Henry VIII’s love life

'Grab him by the Hamptons!'TV host Jeremy Kyle has admitted defeat in his bold attempt to distract Tudor monarch Henry VIII from his bid to divorce his middle-aged wife and overthrow the authority of the Papacy. The episode, entitled ‘You Had Sex With My Dead Brother, You Slag, Now God Won’t Give Me Any Sons’, is due to be aired next Wednesday.

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Posted: Jul 1st, 2015
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Jeremy Kyle sent to broker Middle East peace deal

‘Perhaps Israel can have Gaza during the week and Palestine at weekends?’ suggested Kyle optimistically.

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Posted: Jan 4th, 2015
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Leveson Inquiry faces axe amid dwindling viewing figures

Latest reports are claiming that the Leveson inquiry will not be returning to our screens for a second season as viewing figures continue to fall. The show launched in the latter stages of 2011 amidst a blaze of publicity but has failed to capture the imaginations of the British public, consistently being outperformed by Jeremy Kyle and Loose Women, and now looks set to be pulled after just one series.

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Posted: Jun 15th, 2012
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