Big Society ‘staying in watching TV’
‘The concept can’t even get off the ground if half the population are sitting on their arse at home watching the Jeremy Kyle Show.’
Posted: Feb 6th, 2012
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Posts Tagged ‘jeremy kyle’
New Year’s dishonours list to acknowledge ‘worst and most annoying’ of society
Although not officially announced until the end of next month, details of this year’s Dishonours List have been leaked and include dozens of newly-minted twats, pricks, sods and tossers – individuals whose contributions to public life have been irritating, infuriating or downright damaging.
Posted: Nov 23rd, 2010
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Jeremy Kyle halts performance of ‘Mamma Mia’ to settle paternity dispute with DNA test
There was pandemonium at London’s Prince of Wales theatre last night as talk-show host Jeremy Kyle invaded the stage during a performance of hit musical ‘Mamma Mia’ in a bid to determine which of three men who had slept with a singer in the late 1970s was the father of 22-year-old Sophie.
‘Let me get this straight,’ Kyle said to Sophie’s mother, Donna, as the audience looked on in disbelief. ‘You claim that you spread it about so much you don’t even know who your daughter’s father is?’
Posted: Aug 11th, 2010
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Terrorism attempt fails as suicide bomber forgets to put explosives timer clock back
Ahmed Amenz, a member of a Taliban insurgency cell, was left bemoaning his forgetfulness after a meticulously planned attack that was expected to see him create carnage in a Kabul market place, failed when the distracted father of three forgot to re-set the clock on the timer located on his homemade incendiary device.
Posted: Oct 26th, 2009
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Jeremy Kyle sent to broker Middle East peace deal
Daytime talk show host Jeremy Kyle is being sent to Gaza in an attempt to bring together Israel and Palestine in an historic peace deal. In a special episode of his show entitled ‘how can we sort out our differences when you’re sleeping with America?’ Kyle and his studio audience will publicly humiliate both sides into giving each other another chance and agreeing a mutually acceptable custody arrangement. ‘Perhaps Israel can have Gaza during the week and Palestine at weekends’ suggested Kyle optimistically.
Posted: Jan 6th, 2009
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