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Posts Tagged ‘Jesus’

Fresh evidence suggests that Jesus actually turned water into wine and chocolate

Chocolate: it's a bloody miracleArguments against the over-commercialisation of Easter were questioned today after it was revealed that Jesus, being able to do anything, had actually distributed chocolate as well as wine among his disciples in a previously unchronicled miracle.

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Posted: Apr 4th, 2015
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Jesus still working on ‘difficult’ second coming

star admits he's kept fans waiting 'too long'‘You’ve got to strike that difficult balance between giving fans more of what they want and taking things on artistically.’

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Posted: Mar 10th, 2015
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Jesus thanks Kickstarter for making the second coming a reality

Performance artist and religious leader, Jesus, today publicly thanked the crowd-sourcing funding web-site Kickstarter for making his ‘second coming’ tour a reality.

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Posted: Dec 29th, 2014
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God nominates Jesus for Ice Bucket Challenge

Nearly 2000 years after his last appearance on earth, Jesus has been tasked by his Father, the Holy Sprit, to perform the Ice Bucket Challenge. Jesus has been waiting for his second resurrection to earth and it is believed that he has been asked by God to make an appearance and show the world that he is still a good egg, plus raise a few bob for charity.

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Posted: Aug 26th, 2014
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Operation Yewtree unearths historic abuse of a beloved ‘immaculate’ celebrity

Operation Yewtree has opened an investigation into remarkable claims that an underage Nazareth girl was the victim of historic child abuse.

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Posted: Aug 24th, 2014
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