NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

Posts Tagged ‘Jesus’

Shepherds complain after missing out in Bethlehem Secret Santa draw yet again

'Glad tidings my arse!'‘All we are asking for is a fair draw for the presents,’ continued the shepherd. ‘It’s the same story every year. We wrap up a lamb, struggle down the green hillside to visit the baby and stick our secret Santa present under the manger. But invariably we end up leaving with nothing other than some cow crap on our Jesus sandals.’

Read more >

Posted: Dec 25th, 2011
More from World News



God denies prayer-response targets have been missed

‘Almighty’ God has admitted to being ‘a bit behind’ with his workload, but denies that the stringent turnaround targets He was originally committed to have been missed.

Read more >

Posted: Dec 14th, 2010
More from News In Brief



Smug git in trouble for spoiling parable

Harry Vole, wearing a t-shirt reading ‘Sin? Me? Never!’ has apparently been turning up to public stonings , waiting until Mr Christ starts his ‘let him who is without sin..’ bit, and then flipping a flat stone pebble at the accused before sauntering off whistling.

Read more >

Posted: Jul 28th, 2010
More from News In Brief



Jesus has Beckham tattoo

Art critic Brian Sewell said this amazing discovery offers ‘much greater realism and depth’. He added: ‘What we now know is that all the apostles are having different reactions to the news that Jesus has had the Beckham tattoo. Peter is angry, perhaps because the new technology shows that he has also had ‘a Beckham’, and no-one likes a copycat.

Read more >

Posted: Apr 27th, 2010
More from News In Brief



Planning permission loophole scuppers crucifixion of Jesus

Jesus Christ was freed today after it transpired that planning laws prevented the erection at Calvary of temporary or permanent structures, such as large wooden crosses.

Read more >

Posted: Apr 2nd, 2010
More from News In Brief