The news written by you…

Posts Tagged ‘Jihad’

God asked to move in less predictable ways

'I'm not in'God, the creator of the universe and leader of the Roman Catholic Church, was today asked by worshippers from a variety of faiths to add a dash of mystery to the manner in which he goes about governing the forces of nature, responding to the prayers of his followers and guiding his emissaries on Earth.

Read more >

Posted: Jun 28th, 2015
More from Faith

Islamic State launches

at last, real choice in the Jihadi marketplaceIslamic state hopes to help jihadists “find a way of waging war against the infidel that’s right for you” by launching a jihad comparison website, it was confirmed today. “There’s a huge confusing market, particularly in afterlife care,” said a spokesman. “Al Shabab in the Maghreb has instant paradise on a kill-as-you-go deal, whereas Al Qaeda in the Yemen is offering unlimited virgins on a 24 month contract. How do you decide?”

Read more >

Posted: Jun 23rd, 2015
More from Faith

Suicide bombing ‘should be illegal for Under 18s’

‘If he had been 18 – well, fair enough. Eighteen is fine. In fact, if he’d been in his twenties I’d have been positively bored by the story.’

Read more >

Posted: Jun 16th, 2015
More from News In Brief

Blair named as Middle-England Peace Envoy in ongoing Clarkson row

determined to take the 'larks' out of ClarksonThe government confirmed today that Tony Blair is to take on the weighty responsibility as mediator in the Clarkson Crisis before the UK descends into all-out civil war.

Read more >

Posted: Mar 29th, 2015
More from Celebrity, UK News

Club 18 – 30 urged to drop Syria from its itinerary

Hedonistic travel operator Club 18 – 30 has found itself under increasing pressure to abandon its popular new destination Syria.

‘It’s true, we’ve had a bit of support for our Jihad weekend breaks,’ said a Club 18 – 30 spokesman, ‘but to be honest, the reps aren’t happy. The hotels tend to be in a state of disrepair, even before the hen parties trash them, and providing Brits on tour with sidearms is just asking for trouble.’

Read more >

Posted: Mar 21st, 2015
More from Lifestyle