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Posts Tagged ‘Jihad’

Blair named as Middle-England Peace Envoy in ongoing Clarkson row

determined to take the 'larks' out of ClarksonThe government confirmed today that Tony Blair is to take on the weighty responsibility as mediator in the Clarkson Crisis before the UK descends into all-out civil war.

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Posted: Mar 29th, 2015
More from Celebrity, UK News



Club 18 – 30 urged to drop Syria from its itinerary

Hedonistic travel operator Club 18 – 30 has found itself under increasing pressure to abandon its popular new destination Syria.

‘It’s true, we’ve had a bit of support for our Jihad weekend breaks,’ said a Club 18 – 30 spokesman, ‘but to be honest, the reps aren’t happy. The hotels tend to be in a state of disrepair, even before the hen parties trash them, and providing Brits on tour with sidearms is just asking for trouble.’

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Posted: Mar 21st, 2015
More from Lifestyle



Runaway teens disappointed that Islamic State doesn’t have Apple Watch

London teenagers who travelled to Syria to become jihadists want to return home because IS doesn’t have the Apple Watch. Several Facebook postings by the runaway teens shows them lamenting the absence of Apple Watch despite prayers and appeals to the Islamic State’s religious leaders.

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Posted: Mar 17th, 2015
More from News In Brief



‘Excesssively moderate’ Islamic State school put into special measures

they're learning tolerance, for God's sakeIslamic State’s education standards watchdog Ofrain (Office for Radical Indoctrination) has downgraded the struggling nation’s one and only school to ‘inadequate’ after their inspectors discovered a worrying lack of extremism and a failure to safeguard pupils from literacy, numeracy, science, history and geography.

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Posted: Mar 7th, 2015
More from Education, Faith



Islamic State ‘disappointed at UK fighters ability to wash dishes’

‘They’re lazy, want to stay in bed all day playing Call of Duty on their XBox consoles,’ he told reporters, ‘and what’s worse is that some of these twats have knocked me off the leader board,’ he added.

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Posted: Dec 4th, 2014
More from News In Brief