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Posts Tagged ‘JLS’

Britain basically a One Direction-worshipping country, says Cameron

'You don't know you're beautiful'David Cameron has sparked a heated debate after claiming that Britain should be ‘more confident in its status as a country of Directioners’. The PM made his remarks in an interview with Smash Hits magazine, adding that the teachings of Niall, Zayn, Liam, Harry and Louis had shaped British society and inspired its values of tolerance, respect and being beautiful because you don’t know you’re beautiful, baby.

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Posted: Apr 24th, 2014
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Hell to adopt austerity measures

Satan has today issued a press release warning that austerity measures might compromise the quality and severity of punishments in hell.

Costcutting measures have included halving the number of full-time employed demons tormenting sinners and turning down the thermostat from ‘burning’ to ‘a bit too hot’ to save on energy costs.

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Posted: Jan 14th, 2013
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Basque separatist group ETA cease operations having failed to gain ‘initial-only recognition’

‘Why couldn’t you once just say ‘ETA’?’ asked Basque separatist group ETA leader Garikoitz Aspiazu Rubina, in an emotional plea to the world’s media to afford them the same status as the IRA, the KGB and JLS, all referred to by their three letter acronyms without any explanation.

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Posted: Oct 22nd, 2011
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JLS Switch on the Lights at No. 15 Chessington Avenue

JLS appeared at 15 Chessington Avenue last night to switch on the Christmas lights for the Thompson family after accepting an invitation from dad of two, Adrian Thompson.

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Posted: Dec 5th, 2010
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