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Posts Tagged ‘jobs’

Government urges shops to replace other shops in job creation bonanza

Employment Minister Esther McVey has called for Tesco to replace every Sainsburys store, Sainsburys to replace every Asda store and Asda to replace every Tesco store. ‘Whenever a massive shop opens, it creates hundreds of jobs’, she told reporters. ‘ I don’t really understand the maths – all these shops are doing is making it easier to buy stuff which was made in China. Nevertheless, apparently a new superstore equals job creation.

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Posted: Nov 17th, 2014
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iPhone5s buyers directed straight to queue for iPhone6

Queuing for Jobs‘The new iPhone 5S isn’t just the greatest smartphone of all time. It’s also your ticket to get first in line for the new iPhone 6,’ said store manager Damian Walsh

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Posted: Sep 28th, 2014
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As Christmas looms, man dreads relatives asking ‘What exactly do you do?’

Metaphors, anecdotes and comparisons with occupations from a bygone age are all hopeless when explaining ‘what exactly is it you do’, according to a new report.

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Posted: Dec 5th, 2013
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Rejected postman lacked ‘professional walking experience’

Royal Mail yesterday denied discrimination after turning down a student for the role of holiday cover postman due to his lack of ‘professional walking experience’.

Mark Pye, studying for an MSc, was left fuming when a 19 year old working for Royal Mail’s recruitment partner told him his CV failed to demonstrated the necessary experience of ‘putting one foot in front of the other whilst holding a bag’.

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Posted: May 16th, 2013
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Millions of Romanians, Bulgarians preparing to ‘avoid UK like the plague’

too much effort to fix itFears of a huge influx of immigrants from Romania and Bulgaria have given way to indignation after a poll showed workers from the two countries are preparing to ‘avoid Britain like the plague’, when movement restrictions are eased later this year.

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Posted: Apr 22nd, 2013
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