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Posts Tagged ‘John Terry’

Scilly Isles next for UEFA membership?

Following on from Gibraltar’s admittance into UEFA, the Scilly Isles have emerged as the front runner for next joke nation to be granted a seat at European football’s top table. The Isles’ two teams could be contesting a place in the Europa League next season

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Posted: Jan 16th, 2014
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Miliband to receive BAFTA for Inner Monologue

David Miliband will receive a special award for outstanding achievement in ‘biting your own tongue’ at this year’s TV BAFTAs, organisers have announced.

David’s contribution, to the long running duologue ‘My Idiot Brother’, has often been over-looked by the critics. While Ed has gained plaudits for his pratfalls and gurning to camera, it is straight-man, David, who has brought this tragic subtext to life.

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Posted: Apr 30th, 2013
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Abramovich names Abramovich as new Chelsea manager

Da!Roman Abramovich has been confirmed as the new manager of Chelsea by Roman Abramovich following the departure of hapless stooge Roberto di Matteo, who inexcusably lost a couple of games whilst managing the team for a pittance.

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Posted: Nov 22nd, 2012
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Terry disappointed at Auschwitz theme park – but praises the short queues

‘The queues were short, but the actual events were a bit disappointing, to be perfectly honest.’ John Terry has given his verdict on his visit to Poland’s biggest tourist attraction, the Auschwitz theme park. ‘As a celebrity,’ added Terry, ‘I don’t expect to have to wait in line anyway, so to be quite honest, I don’t think I will be going back. It might be alright for ordinary people though.’

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Posted: Jun 8th, 2012
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Lampard becomes latest player ‘too embarrassed to play for England’

The Chelsea midfielder joins a growing list of players who have developed mystery ailments in a bid to retain what little dignity they have.

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Posted: Jun 1st, 2012
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