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Posts Tagged ‘John Terry’

Di Matteo’s ‘bunch of pansies’ takes top honour at Chelsea flower show

40 years of buying up tulip bulbs finally paying offHot on the heels of their Champions League success, the lads from Chelsea FC have once again opened their gardens to members of the public for their annual display of horticultural excellence.

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Posted: May 17th, 2015
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Celebrities to balls-up your commute on Poppy Day

Service announcements at Wood Lane will be replaced by Joey Barton reciting the prologue from Friedrich Nietzsche’s ‘Das Verhältnis der Schopenhauer Ischen Philosophie zu einer deutschen Kultur’, before bursting out of the control office and head-butting commuters on to the track.

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Posted: Oct 29th, 2014
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Injury may put English football stars out of Sunday’s barbecue

English football fans were anxiously waiting for further team news today, after injuries to several key players left a question mark over their participation in various leisure and social activities this weekend.

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Posted: Jun 19th, 2014
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Scilly Isles next for UEFA membership?

Following on from Gibraltar’s admittance into UEFA, the Scilly Isles have emerged as the front runner for next joke nation to be granted a seat at European football’s top table. The Isles’ two teams could be contesting a place in the Europa League next season

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Posted: Jan 16th, 2014
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Miliband to receive BAFTA for Inner Monologue

David Miliband will receive a special award for outstanding achievement in ‘biting your own tongue’ at this year’s TV BAFTAs, organisers have announced.

David’s contribution, to the long running duologue ‘My Idiot Brother’, has often been over-looked by the critics. While Ed has gained plaudits for his pratfalls and gurning to camera, it is straight-man, David, who has brought this tragic subtext to life.

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Posted: Apr 30th, 2013
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