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Posts Tagged ‘jubilee’

Queen ‘comes out’ as dyslexic after igniting Deacon in error

Buckingham and Lambeth Palaces have presented a united front over the near-immolation of Stephen Wallace, the chubby Deacon of St Paul’s Cathedral, at the Jubilee Concert yesterday. The Queen apparently mis-read her instructions to light the large Beacon.

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Posted: Jun 6th, 2012
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Re-using Jubilee flags for Olympics ‘would be act of treason’, warns LOCOG

‘These flags we’ve seen everywhere for the Jubilee are sometimes home-made and usually completely devoid of sponsorship logos,’ said Lord Coe.

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Posted: Jun 2nd, 2012
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What Queen actually needs is a stiff drink, insists Palace

After Prince Harry claimed that the Queen relies on the love and support of The Duke of Edinburgh, Buckingham Palace has rebuked him publicly and insisted that she actually relies on a steady supply of gin to get her through the tedious business of reigning over us.

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Posted: Feb 4th, 2012
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Michael Gove to give Queen flowers ‘and maybe big toblerone’

After seeing his suggestion of celebrating the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee by building a new royal yacht, at a cost to the taxpayer of £60m, rejected, Michael Gove has admitted that there is now ‘every chance’ that he’ll just get the Queen some flowers instead, ‘and maybe a Toblerone’.

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Posted: Jan 17th, 2012
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Austerity-conscious Queen downgrades 2012 Jubilee to ‘Diamonique’

Buckingham Palace has today announced that the Queen ‘wishes to recognise the fragile state of the economy’ by downgrading her Jubilee celebrations next year from diamond to diamonique.

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Posted: Jun 3rd, 2011
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