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Posts Tagged ‘junior doctors’

Junior doctors to stage 1970s style comedy strike

‘It’s not what we want to do’, said a young medic who wishes to remain anonymous.  ’But let us be honest here, after a 48 hour shift it really is quite easy to appear like a bungling buffoon who gets in all kinds of mildly amusing scrapes not knowing the difference between the words prostrate and prostate .  One of us will insert a stethoscope into a patient’s anal cavity by mistake while another will carry out a comedic ‘whoopsie’ sound using a rubber glove for extra effect.’

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Posted: Nov 27th, 2015
More from Health

NHS consultation a ‘jedi mind trick’

With all the pellucidity of mud, the Government has asked the British public about changes to their Health Service through a process of whispers, winks and carrier pigeon. Not wanting to draw attention to anything alarming, the Secretary of State (Jeremy Hunt) has sensitively chosen not to advertise the consultation for fear of ‘over-shadowing the John Lewis Xmas campaign’.

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Posted: Nov 23rd, 2015
More from News In Brief

Government announces deal with God to send more hours

Workers are protesting about divine beings agreeing to send some more hours. One self-employed gardener complained: ‘I already work all the hours God sends, but that was on the understanding that the number of hours wouldn’t change’.

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Posted: Oct 20th, 2015
More from News In Brief

Love doctors ‘working longer hours than ever’

Oooh! Carry on MatronThe NHS has come under fire after a Panorama programme showed that it is ‘systematically failing’ lovesick Britons by cutting the number of ‘leurve’ doctors trained to deliver emotional and erotic first aid.

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Posted: Aug 30th, 2014
More from From The Archives

BBC commissions edgy new series ‘Junior-Doctor Who’

Cashing in on the continued success of Doctor Who, the BBC has announced a new spin-off series for the franchise, Junior-Doctor Who, which will focus on the early years of The Doctor’s career after he completed his medical degree at Gallifrey Metropolitan University.
‘The new Junior-Doctor will add a whole new dimension of excitement to the show,’ promised producer Steven Moffatt, ‘not least because every week there’s a strong chance he’ll accidentally kill the people he’s supposed to be saving.’

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Posted: Aug 4th, 2013
More from Arts/Entertainment