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Posts Tagged ‘justice’

UK poor people must do more to help kill foreign poor people, says Defence Secretary

Defence Secretary Philip Hammond says that poor people in Britain should do more to help to kill poor people in other countries by taking a cut in their welfare benefits to allow much-needed funds for the armed forces.

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Posted: Mar 4th, 2013
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Theresa May ‘even tried Cillit Bang’ to remove Abu Qatada

After an appeal to the courts delayed extradition proceedings, Home Secretary Theresa May has defended the government’s attempts to remove stubborn extremist Abu Qatada using kitchen power-cleaner Cillit Bang.

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Posted: Apr 20th, 2012
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‘Pesky’ jurors jailed for net-based research as fairground villain walks free

Four animated jurors and their implausibly large talking dog have been found guilty of contempt of court and jailed for nine months, after conducting their own amateur investigation into a defendant accused of miscellanous evil machinations at a deserted fairground.

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Posted: Jan 30th, 2012
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Prison riots blamed on Facebook gatecrashers

prisoners confused by new Facebook rules, but now hiding their profilesPrisoners at the beleaguered HMP Ford have blamed the recent riots on a misguided Facebook status update, which publicised the inmates’ planned quiet New Year’s celebration to a gatecrashing horde.

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Posted: Jan 2nd, 2011
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Police commissioner apologises to court and pays locksmith’s costs after he locked up offender and threw away key

hanging's too good for him‘Failing to stop at a red light? If I had my way they’d be sterilised at birth.’

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Posted: Sep 27th, 2009
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