NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

Posts Tagged ‘justin welby’

Wonga.com offers to ‘save souls’

lie now, pray laterPayday loan company Wonga has hastily announced plans to diversify and offer unsecured ‘high-cost salvation’ in response to the Archbishop of Canterbury’s recent decision to offer Church of England payday loans.

Read more >

Posted: Jul 29th, 2014
More from From The Archives



Archbishop ‘embarrassed’ to find Satan is former employee of God

‘Payroll records show that a Mr Lucifer Satan was formerly employed as an angel for Heaven Plc,’ admitted a spokesman for the Archbishop of Canterbury.

Read more >

Posted: Jul 29th, 2013
More from News In Brief



Justin Welby hesitant over gay weddings but wants more gay funerals

The move is likely to be popular with African clergy who already see it as part of their ministry to help homosexuals towards an early grave.

Read more >

Posted: Nov 14th, 2012
More from News In Brief



Archbishop of Canterbury to deputise as BBC DG

determined to bring unruly flock under controlExcited by the challenge of turning around the fortunes of another national institution floundering in it’s own dithering and regarded as ignorant of the changing needs of its congregation, the newly appointed Archbishop of Canterbury has agreed to take on a second job deputising as Director General of the BBC.

Read more >

Posted: Nov 11th, 2012
More from Arts/Entertainment



Oil worker ‘gobsmacked’ at news he was to be the next Archbishop of Canterbury

Oil industry worker Justin Welby (56) says he was ‘gobsmacked’ when he heard he was to be the next Archbishop of Canterbury.

‘I was having a few morning pints with the lads before being flown back for another six months on the oil rigs,’ he said, ‘when the landlord said he’d heard on the telly that I was to be the next Archbishop of Canterbury. I was bloody gobsmacked.’

Read more >

Posted: Nov 9th, 2012
More from News In Brief