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Posts Tagged ‘Kate Middleton’

Man living under a rock ‘bloody tired’ of Royal updates

A man living under a large rock in the middle of the Sahara desert with his eyes shut and fingers lodged in his ears has bemoaned the insufferable level of coverage about the Royal Family he has been exposed to.

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Posted: Apr 16th, 2014
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Battered Philippines ‘grateful’ for Dimbleby tattoo

Typhoon survivors were given some respite today, when the UK’s media redirected their focus on a more newsworthy topic. As one orphan put it: ‘It helps put the loss of over 10,000 lives in perspective, knowing that David Dimbleby was able to ‘man up”.

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Posted: Nov 12th, 2013
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Royals uphold tradition of getting w*nkered after christening

next one to be held in Las VegasThe royal bender, which lasted ‘well into the evening’, according to seasoned observers, finally came to an end when Thames Valley Police fished a number of semi-naked royals from the banks of the River Thames.

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Posted: Oct 27th, 2013
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Grangemouth workers not included as godparents to Prince George

INEOS chairman, Jim Ratcliffe, has made it clear that unless the petrochemical workforce adopt reduced pensions, double-barrelled surnames and a taste for white truffles they will not be invited to St James’s Palace.

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Posted: Oct 24th, 2013
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Royal baby; Dad now giving too much information

It's a struggle-wuggle-wuggle, yesh it isss...Prince William proudly showed off his son to reporters again this morning, adding that he had watched the baby having his nappy changed and quipped that the young lad ‘certainly has a very healthy and active digestive system!’

Assembled journalists laughed at the nappy-changing reference, and reported that it showed that the second in line to the throne was just like any other new dad, getting to grips with being a father and adjusting to the very earthy nature of birth and babies.

‘Yes, this morning was a real hummer!’ the Prince added, wafting his hand in front of his nose. More laughter followed before the prince continued in more detail about his new son and the future George VII.

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Posted: Aug 19th, 2013
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