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Posts Tagged ‘katie hopkins’

First penis transplant: Clarkson moves to SKY

just dicking aboutSpurred on by abundant rumours that the curmudgeonly Top Gear presenter deliberately struck his co-employee to contrive a more lucrative TV contract elsewhere, SKY satellite engineers have vowed to work around the clock to detach Clarkson from his currently uncomfortable position and ‘re-assign’ the little fella. However, the surgical manoeuvre is complicated by the risk of damaging the attached scrotum, or James May as he is known.

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Posted: Mar 15th, 2015
More from Arts/Entertainment

Katie Hopkins to be crucified on Good Friday to redeem sins of mankind

forgive them for they know not what they do, but if they follow my 15 point plan...The Church of England’s first female bishop has confirmed that celebrity Antichrist Katie Hopkins is to be executed on the cross on Good Friday, April 3. Against the backdrop of yet another cosmologically inconsequential but newsworthy Twitter spat, the Right Reverend Libby Lane preached that this was humanity’s last chance to find eternal salvation.

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Posted: Mar 4th, 2015
More from Faith

Sinkhole opens up in Katie Hopkins face

The hole is not thought to be dangerous, though it has attracted a lot of media attention.

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Posted: Feb 19th, 2014
More from News In Brief

Katie Hopkins unveiled as the ‘Tories’ Doreen Lawrence’

A No.10 spokesmen said: ‘No one represents our belief in marital fidelity, business acumen and a classless society, more than Ms. Hopkins’.

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Posted: Aug 10th, 2013
More from News In Brief

Discovery of weather balloon dismissed as ‘part that fell off flying saucer’

Enthusiastic weather balloon collectors have been disappointed to learn that the balloon they collected was simply an unidentified component of an alien spaceship.

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Posted: Aug 5th, 2013
More from News In Brief