‘Every man’s home is his castle, and if he wants arrow slits then that has to be a huge improvement over all that ghastly stone-cladding and satellite dishes.’
Posted: Jun 18th, 2014
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The recent demise of the Thatcher, once considered the most fearsome of all the big Tory beasts, has put renewed focus on the dwindling numbers of Tories who, in happier times, roamed freely through the jungles of Middle England.
Posted: Apr 16th, 2013
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In a new effort to rebalance the public finances, Home Secretary Theresa May has announced that prisoners reaching the end of their sentence in UK jails will no longer be released straight onto the streets, but will instead leave prison through a new HM Prisons Gift Shop.
Posted: Jul 2nd, 2012
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‘I’m completely opposed to snooping in any form,’ said Clegg, ‘and I know my Cabinet colleagues are too because I read it in a classified policy paper that Vince Cable accidentally left on his desk yesterday.’
Posted: Apr 4th, 2012
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William Hague has backed plans to prevent intelligence being discussed in open conversation, particularly when it makes MPs look stupid. “As Secretary of Two Big, Important Things, I am ideally placed to reassure the public that I’m quite bright, really”, explained Hague to a crowd of journalists. “This new rule means you can’t ask me how I got this bucket stuck on my foot, or why I spent the first twenty minutes of this meeting in the broom cupboard.”
Posted: Nov 16th, 2011
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