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Posts Tagged ‘Kim Jong-il’

Christmas cancelled as Kim Jong-Il is revealed as the real Santa Claus

The reason behind North Korea’s legendary paranoia was revealed as Kim Jong-Il died this week and Christmas across the world had to be cancelled at short notice. ‘Father Christmas is dead, we are nothing and our labours in his many toy factories have been pointless.’ Wept Kim News-Reader as she spoke to the nation.

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Posted: Dec 20th, 2011
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Study: Majority of despots take their own sandwiches into work

‘Hitler was well known for arriving for work at the Führerbunker carrying a cheese and pickle sandwich in a paper bag. Of course he only ate white bread.’

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Posted: Sep 2nd, 2011
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Car parking issues at UN building cause of most international disputes

UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon has today announced radical plans to tackle global conflict by building a new improved car-park at the UN Headquarters in New York.

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Posted: Jan 17th, 2011
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North Korea in crisis as Kim Jong-un plans surprise gap year

The reclusive heir told his father that presiding over a brutal regime in which Marxist doctrine is enforced to the letter was some ‘heavy shit’ and that he planned to ‘chill for a bit and like, find myself’.

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Posted: Sep 30th, 2010
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North Korea to plant giant Leylandii across 38th Parallel

North Korean investment in ladders 'soaring'‘The Dear Leader has had it up to here with his neighbours,’

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Posted: Jun 11th, 2010
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