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Posts Tagged ‘Labour party’

Cameron and Clegg to form ‘sorry duet’

Agents for David Cameron and Nick Clegg have announced today that the talented pair of apologists will form a ‘duet’ to delight their fans with harmonised atonements and excuses. The pair are tipped to top the charts with such classics as, ‘Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word’, ‘Careless Whispers’ and ‘A Little Bit Me, A Little Bit You’ by the Monkees.

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Posted: Jun 26th, 2014
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Political parties given go ahead for new Subliminal Election Broadcasts

public currently still thinking for themselvesFrom next year, the traditional Party Election Broadcast will be replaced by a blipvert that operates below the threshold of human conscious perception. ‘The old party political broadcasts suffered from a terrible flaw,’ explained Tory party strategist Lynton Crosby. ‘As soon as anyone realised they were watching one, they immediately switched over.’

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Posted: May 6th, 2014
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World hails Ed Miliband for averting military intervention in Syria

Miliband of the yearLabour leader Ed Miliband has admitted he struggled to hold back tears at the TUC conference this week as the nations of the world joined together to crown him the greatest politician of his generation.

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Posted: Sep 12th, 2013
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Labour has detailed policies on Water Voles, claims Miliband

‘Ed has thought through the implications of the decline in the Water Vole population and has a very clear and detailed policy to put before voters.’

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Posted: Sep 9th, 2013
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GMB refuses to fund Shadow Cabinet’s ‘mid-life crisis’

Explaining their decision to cut its Labour donation from £1.2m to £150,000, a spokesman for the GMB said: ‘Our members are no longer willing to subsidise bass guitar lessons, the constant Googling of fetish clothing and an £84 a day ‘weed habit’ and 300,000 annual porn hits.’

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Posted: Sep 5th, 2013
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