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Posts Tagged ‘Labour party’

GMB refuses to fund Shadow Cabinet’s ‘mid-life crisis’

Explaining their decision to cut its Labour donation from £1.2m to £150,000, a spokesman for the GMB said: ‘Our members are no longer willing to subsidise bass guitar lessons, the constant Googling of fetish clothing and an £84 a day ‘weed habit’ and 300,000 annual porn hits.’

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Posted: Sep 5th, 2013
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Ed Miliband promises a cap on life expectancy

In an increasingly desperate attempt to prove his credibility with right wing voters, Ed Miliband has promised to limit the lengths that people will go to avoid death.

Buoyed by the recent projected cancer rates, Miliband is convinced that Labour can improve upon the Coalition’s track record of making people ill.

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Posted: Jun 8th, 2013
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Unite Leader condemns Labour conference for ‘lack of opening ceremony’

As Labour’s annual party conference gets underway, Unite leader Len McCluskey has publicly criticised the lack of opening ceremony. As one of the party’s largest donors, he believes some of that money could have been spent on a few of their members jumping on NHS beds, building factories in the main hall, or coming into the hall waving their unions’ flags.

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Posted: Oct 3rd, 2012
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Ed Miliband calls for his own resignation

It is believed that the Labour leader may have got confused about whose resignation he was due to call for today.

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Posted: May 2nd, 2012
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Ex-Prime Minister Gordon Brown sells at Dundee car boot sale for £1.50

Former Prime Minister Gordon Brown was sold at a Dundee car boot sale on Sunday for a knock-down price of £1.50.

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Posted: Apr 8th, 2012
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