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Posts Tagged ‘Labour party’

Ed Miliband to communicate purely through medium of mime

answers for everythingLabour leader Ed Miliband has revealed that he will take a vow of silence and convey his political message entirely through the performance art of mime, using his body as a political tool. ‘All the polls show that we do much better when Ed stays quiet,’ explained deputy leader Harriet Harman, ‘he will therefore focus on communicating his ideas through corporeal movement and a variety of facial expressions.’

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Posted: Jan 7th, 2011
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Miliband threw vote, claims Pakistan cricket chief

‘Every time David Miliband said ‘I stand by my decision on Iraq’ or ‘We’ve much to be proud of from our time in government’, large amounts were staked on the other contestants.’

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Posted: Oct 4th, 2010
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Bookmakers face heavy losses after Ed Miliband speech gets standing ovation

Britain’s bookmakers have been taken by surprise after the new Labour leader unexpectedly received a standing ovation for his maiden speech at the Labour Conference in Manchester.

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Posted: Sep 29th, 2010
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Comrade Miliband denies lurch to the left

beer and sandwiches, anyone?The Labour Party will not lurch to the left under Ed Miliband’s leadership, insisted the newly elected Leader of the Opposition as he announced a five year plan to increase coal and steel production.

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Posted: Sep 26th, 2010
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Miliband triumphs/fails

Mr Miliband's banana was ['very tasty, thank you'/'unavailable for comment']Their mother said the best man had [triumphed/been utterly humiliated].

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Posted: Sep 25th, 2010
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