David Caero ade the shock aouceet i the house of coos today that the alphabet would shrik to just twety four letters with iediate effect, sayig that “Labour left us owig billios ad billios of pouds ad tough decisios have to be ade”.
Posted: Apr 25th, 2011
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The Royal Mail has announced today that it is to extend its range of delivery services into the midwifery sector.
‘From next week postmen and women will be delighted to provide ‘home-birthing’ to expectant couples by delivering their newborn child direct to their door at any time between 9am and 3pm,’ said Moya Greene, Chief Executive of the Royal Mail Group. ‘But not on Sundays or bank holidays – and if they’re out when we call, we’ll leave the kid with a neighbour for safe-keeping.’
Posted: Apr 16th, 2011
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‘I am delighted to announce that the ‘Stick’ part of the plan is currently in its final stages, and will be unveiled early next month. We now just need to attach it to the moon.’
Posted: Mar 31st, 2011
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New election rules mean that all political manifestos will be required by law to be displayed inside plain white packets with a prominent health warning. Politicians will no longer be able to publicly advertise their manifestos and shops will be expected to keep them hidden away from view under the counter.
Senior Labour figures have insisted the party is ‘still on track’ to fill its coming decades of opposition with customary infighting and political bloodletting, despite a tediously uncontroversial and jolly summer.
Posted: Nov 15th, 2010
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