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Posts Tagged ‘Labour’

Ed Balls denies involvement in slow motion car crash

Shadow Chancellor Ed Balls has strenuously denied any responsibility for a slow motion car crash taking place in Westminster.

Mr Balls was summonsed by Labour Party authorities to explain why he did not report the accident, which began when passenger Ed Miliband seized the wheel from his brother David in 2010, causing the vehicle to lurch awkwardly all over the place.

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Posted: Jun 22nd, 2014
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Tony Blair returns to Westminster as ‘Labour Leader Emeritus’

resigned after in-tray became un-resolvableNearly six years after being the first Premier to abdicate at a time of his own choosing, Tony Blair has returned to Westminster for a quiet time of reflection hidden from the world, promising not to be a burden on the current incumbent of this most sacred of roles.

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Posted: May 3rd, 2014
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Royal Mail to start delivering babies

The Royal Mail has announced today that it is to extend its range of delivery services into the midwifery sector. ‘From next week postmen and women will be delighted to provide ‘home-birthing’ to expectant couples by delivering their newborn child direct to their door at any time between 9am and 3pm,’ said Moya Greene, Chief Executive of the Royal Mail Group.

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Posted: Apr 14th, 2014
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Black box from Gordon Brown’s government found

the truth at lastAfter years of intensive searching, a team of scientists believe that they have located the ‘black box’ at the heart of the Labour government during Gordon Brown’s premiership from 2007 to 2010.

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Posted: Mar 27th, 2014
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UK & US rule out military intervention: Russia actually has WMDs

David Cameron and Barack Obama have today ruled out the possibility of taking any military action in Ukraine, on the grounds that Russia definitely does have Weapons of Mass Destruction. ‘We don’t need to send in Hans Blix to justify anything this time’, explained the Prime Minister.

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Posted: Mar 6th, 2014
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