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Posts Tagged ‘Labour’

‘Why must I do everything?’ cries husband during childbirth

didn't even get a shag later31 year-old Patrick Clark became infuriated today by the extreme selfishness of his wife, Hannah, during the birth of their first child. He claimed that she was ‘totally self-absorbed’ and ‘unwilling to cooperate rationally’ throughout most of the high-intensity contractions.

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Posted: Feb 15th, 2015
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Ed Balls to put name badges at the centre of Labour’s economic policy

Ed Balls has announced that he is to repair Labour’s damaged relationship with business leaders by making name badges compulsory.

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Posted: Feb 5th, 2015
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Tories announce plans to stop Lib Dem MPs voting on English issues

Prime Minister David Cameron has announced plans for a referendum on whether Liberal Democrat MPs should be allowed to vote on English issues. Mr Cameron said the referendum, to be called ‘The General Election’, will stop Liberal Democrats MPs voting on English issues in Parliament after they lose their seat.

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Posted: Feb 3rd, 2015
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UK deafness epidemic ‘may last up to 122 days’

An outbreak of deafness affecting four million people in the UK could last as long as 122 days, says NHS England. ‘We don’t expect any improvement until May 8th,’ a NHS spokeswoman said.

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Posted: Jan 6th, 2015
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Tony Blair ready to challenge Labour leadership ‘within 45 minutes’

In a frank interview the former Labour Party leader denied he had been critical of Ed Miliband and his leadership of the party. ‘Sure I might have said he is a useless fuckwit, but everyone says that,’ he said, adding, ‘and I might have suggested that it should be possible for any half-brained, bleeding heart, know nothing politician to look better than that useless twat Cameron, but obviously I was referring to Nick Clegg, who I don’t think should lead the Labour Party. Or any party, come to think of it.’

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Posted: Jan 1st, 2015
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