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Posts Tagged ‘Labour’

Sun newspaper to retune today

first upgrade for 12 yearsFollowing extensive media coverage, millions of readers have been advised that copies of the Sun newspaper will retune today.

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Posted: Sep 30th, 2014
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Utility boss threatens ‘eternal darkness’ if energy prices frozen

historical data shows hell still warming nicely‘People who have stockpiled air in li-los, bicycle tyres, party balloons and inflatable women are acting irresponsibly.’

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Posted: Sep 10th, 2014
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Ed Balls denies involvement in slow motion car crash

Shadow Chancellor Ed Balls has strenuously denied any responsibility for a slow motion car crash taking place in Westminster.

Mr Balls was summonsed by Labour Party authorities to explain why he did not report the accident, which began when passenger Ed Miliband seized the wheel from his brother David in 2010, causing the vehicle to lurch awkwardly all over the place.

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Posted: Jun 22nd, 2014
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Tony Blair returns to Westminster as ‘Labour Leader Emeritus’

resigned after in-tray became un-resolvableNearly six years after being the first Premier to abdicate at a time of his own choosing, Tony Blair has returned to Westminster for a quiet time of reflection hidden from the world, promising not to be a burden on the current incumbent of this most sacred of roles.

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Posted: May 3rd, 2014
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Royal Mail to start delivering babies

The Royal Mail has announced today that it is to extend its range of delivery services into the midwifery sector. ‘From next week postmen and women will be delighted to provide ‘home-birthing’ to expectant couples by delivering their newborn child direct to their door at any time between 9am and 3pm,’ said Moya Greene, Chief Executive of the Royal Mail Group.

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Posted: Apr 14th, 2014
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