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Posts Tagged ‘Labour’

UK & US rule out military intervention: Russia actually has WMDs

David Cameron and Barack Obama have today ruled out the possibility of taking any military action in Ukraine, on the grounds that Russia definitely does have Weapons of Mass Destruction. ‘We don’t need to send in Hans Blix to justify anything this time’, explained the Prime Minister.

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Posted: Mar 6th, 2014
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‘Banks to be replaced with sweeties and bouncy castles’, promises Milliband

Labour leader Ed Milliband has given a pre-election pledge to replace failing high street banks with bouncy castles and to give all Labour voters a ‘big bag of sweeties’.

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Posted: Jan 20th, 2014
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‘Thoroughly Modern Miliband’ joins cast of Downton Abbey

Miliband stars as Jack Militant, or ‘Thoroughly Modern Milly’, shop steward of the Allied Union of Downstairs Staff, at nearby Motley Hall. He will feature in three episodes, culminating in a showdown with the Dowager Countess of Grantham on the croquet lawn

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Posted: Sep 24th, 2013
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Lord Prescott ‘knows where the Falkirk is’

Lord Prescott has been drawn into the Falkirk selection row, after claiming on Radio 4′s Today programme that he didn’t know where the constituency was and also that he did, as far as anybody could make out.

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Posted: Jul 12th, 2013
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Labour reveal plans to scrap winter for retired top rate tax payers

Labour has revealed its plans to help higher rate tax-paying pensioners by scrapping winter for anyone earning over £40k a year.

Shadow Chancellor Ed Balls told reporters, ‘ As Labour is the party of inclusivity, we wanted to show that we strive to help those more fortunate than ourselves.’

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Posted: Jun 4th, 2013
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