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Posts Tagged ‘Labour’

David Cameron’s hair pledges to leave UK if Labour wins

frankly, I'm worth itWith less than a week to polling day, David Cameron’s hair has weighed into the general election campaign by threatening to pull up its roots and emigrate if the Labour party wins on 7 May. ‘Under this Conservative-led government, what we have seen from David Cameron’s hair is recovery from recession and a return to growth,’ said George Osborne today. ‘It’s been a miraculous turnaround. Figures show our prime minister now has the fastest-growing head of hair in Europe.’

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Posted: May 1st, 2015
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Cameron hits back at Miliband with Jim Davidson interview

public need to know what Chalky thinks about all this...In a bid to snatch back public attention from Labour’s Ed Miliband, who this week enthused the young electorate with his casual chat with hipster Russell Brand, PM David Cameron has released footage of a ‘laid back chin wag’ with former funny man and casual racist, Jim Davidson.

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Posted: Apr 30th, 2015
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Loch Ness Monster threat to Tories

The Loch Ness Monster is an imminent threat to David Cameron’s Tories, according to Nessie experts.

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Posted: Apr 30th, 2015
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Lib Dems to rebrand as The Second Sons

Drawing upon the immense popularity of The Game of Thrones and recognising his party’s real role on the political landscape, Nick Clegg has announced that the Liberal Democrats will be renamed after the sellsword army The Second Sons.

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Posted: Apr 29th, 2015
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Tories threaten to finish what they started‏

The meek? Jesus was a silly Socialist...Buoyed by an endorsement from representatives of 5,000 small businesses, the Conservative Party has pledged to put a ‘food bank on every street corner’. Not content with four years of misery, David Cameron hopes to continue with his vision of low interest rates, low inflation and low self-esteem for any graduate looking for a job.

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Posted: Apr 27th, 2015
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