NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

Posts Tagged ‘Lady Gaga’

‘Nice criminals’ will be forced to wear Hallowe’en masks

the world's just not terrifying enough yetFollowing the conviction of Rolf Harris for a string of sexual assaults, the Secretary of State for Justice, Chris Grayling, is set to announce sweeping reforms to festive Hallowe’en costumes to aid the public in their identification and eventual demonisation of suspected criminals. The Metropolitan Police admitted, that having exhausted its supply of freaky-looking paedophiles to prosecute, Operation Yewtree will now have to include celebrities people actually like.

Previously the government had implemented a system whereby serial killers agreed to grow beards, molesters were given bad haircuts and tax avoiders were required to dress like George Osborne. Unfortunately, the agreed classification has become undermined by the rise of ‘paedo chic’, which has seen the likes of Russell Brand making ironic use of Ted Bundy’s mojo and Lady Gaga looking like a transgender Jimmy Savile.

Read more >

Posted: Jul 1st, 2014
More from UK News



Academic claims Jessie J ‘only 94% lesbian’

‘A much more precise figure for Jessie’s lesbianism is 93.759%,’ said Professor Edward Simpson of the Institute of Sensual Calculus.

Read more >

Posted: May 7th, 2012
More from News In Brief



Lord Gaga locks ‘embarrassing’ wife away

Lord Gaga of Winchester has called time on the raucous behaviour by his ‘vulgar colonial’ wife, which have tarnished the family name. The scandal only came to his ears last week

Read more >

Posted: Nov 25th, 2011
More from News In Brief



Unscrupulous website accused of search engine manipulation (Bieber Gaga Free Games Twilight)

googling ‘Website denies teenage Asian lesbian Doctor Who fan claims that it is attempting to manipulate its rankings on the most popular web searches.’

Read more >

Posted: Aug 3rd, 2011
More from Science/Technology



Songs for Japan gives frustrated altruists avenue to help Japan, pad out iPod

Care-worn armchair humanitarians with no clue how to help those suffering from the effects of the Japanese earthquake and subsequent tsunami, were finally put out of their fortnight of misery over the weekend, as ‘Songs for Japan’, a rag-bag of random rehashed pop was released on iTunes last Friday specifically for them.

Read more >

Posted: Mar 28th, 2011
More from News In Brief