NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

Posts Tagged ‘Large Hadron Collider’

Fears that Prayer Super Collider may usher in Apocalypse

The prayers are to be fired in opposite directions at enormous speeds through the 12 kilometre Prayer Super Collider ring buried deep below Salt Lake City, Utah, in the most ambitious theological experiment since the Pope and the Archbishop of Canterbury met head-on in the Large Hadron Collider.

Read more >

Posted: Jun 26th, 2012
More from News In Brief



Faster-than-light Nissan Micra ‘may have been down to timing fault’

they've got some canny ideas aboot Einsteinian Relativistic fizix‘We were a bit surprised to find we’d topped six hundred million miles an hour, especially as the speedo only goes up to one hundred and twenty, but we put it down to the new go-faster stripes I’d got fitted that morning.’

Read more >

Posted: Feb 23rd, 2012
More from Science/Technology



Scientists capture first glimpse of elusive Clegg boson

if confirmed, discovery could explain how unemployment got its massScientists believe they may have recorded their first sighting of the elusive sub-political particle, the Clegg boson, otherwise known as The Sod Particle.

The Clegg’s existence has been postulated for some time as a means to resolving strange inconsistencies in the Standard Political Model, while remaining barely detectable itself.

‘The Clegg is very tiny and only capable of weak interactions,’ explained Professor Jim Al-Khalili, ‘However, despite exerting only a very small force, it appears to play a key role in providing the mass for some of the larger political elements.’

Read more >

Posted: Dec 13th, 2011
More from Politics



Large Hadron Collider finds car keys

also found the lyrics to 'things can only get better' although they were put straight in the binIt cost some £6.2 billion to build, but the Large Hadron Collider may have justified that enormous price tag after it finally located Professor Brian Cox’s lost car keys. The keys were lost by Cox in the 1990s while an undergraduate at the University of Manchester and his 1987 Nissan Micra has remained in an NCP car park ever since.

Read more >

Posted: Dec 12th, 2011
More from Science/Technology



Desperate scientists resort to putting up hundreds of ‘missing particle’ posters

Scientists desperate to be reunited with a missing particle have resorted to leaving posters on every lamp-post in their local area. The particle, thought to answer to the name Higgs Boson, has been missing for some time now and there are fears it may never be found.

Read more >

Posted: Dec 9th, 2011
More from News In Brief