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Posts Tagged ‘Latin’

Foreign languages ‘just an elaborate hoax’

'déjà vu' replaced with 'lassez-faire'So-called ‘languages’ are an ancient practical joke, it has been revealed.

‘It all started with the Romans’, said Professor Tim Williams of the University of Central England, itself also an elaborate hoax. ‘They thought it would be funny to speak gibberish to the locals when they first came here. Being an isolated population, the myth took hold better than expected and it’s been maintained ever since.

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Posted: Jul 13th, 2015
More from Education

Government vows to recapture information

Householders have been warned to ‘stay indoors and keep away from the internet’ by government experts worried about the dangers of information. Considerable amounts of information have escaped since the Freedom of Information Act came into law and much of it is potentially hazardous to the general public.

‘It isn’t always safe to let information roam free,’ said a Home Office spokesman. ‘The British people haven’t really developed much of an immune system where government information is concerned. This sort of thing may work in America, which has been governed by oiks for centuries, but the British have always shown proper deference.’

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Posted: Sep 21st, 2014
More from Politics

UK schools to revert to Roman numerals, announces Gove

In a move expected to be marginally less unpopular and unworkable than most of his other ideas, Michael Gove has announced that from 2014 UK schools will revert to teaching in Roman numerals.

The idea is the brainchild of a conservative think tank charged by the Education Secretary with charting the causes of the drastic decline in school standards in Britain since the withdrawal of the Roman Empire in 410 AD.

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Posted: Jun 18th, 2013
More from News In Brief

Embarrassment as new pope admits, ‘I can’t speak a word of Latin’

‘When you’re young you don’t really think about being pope, so I dropped Latin and did Domestic Science and Woodwork instead.’

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Posted: Mar 14th, 2013
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Private schools launch ‘pay-as-you-go’ lessons

Open to all who can payThe Association of Private Schools today launched a new service which allows state-school pupils to experience fee-paying lessons on a pay-as-you-go basis.

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Posted: Apr 21st, 2009
More from News In Brief