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Posts Tagged ‘letters’

Google purchases the alphabet

In what has being described as the biggest business take-over of ‘letters representing phonemes’, Google is set to acquire ownership of three thousand years of written civilization. Any language based on the Classical Latin model will come under Google’s copyright, forcing many to use alternate forms of communication – such as crude hieroglyphs, grunting noises and ‘thumping the floor with your foot’.

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Posted: Aug 12th, 2015
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Charles ‘may have been sending letters since the 1970s’

In a newly-discovered note to James Callaghan, from 1976 the Prince of Wales: ‘Dear Jim, Please can you fix it for me that mummy abdicates before bloody Halley’s comet comes around again. Sincerely, Charles, age 28.’

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Posted: May 19th, 2015
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Customers grateful for latest Important Changes to Your Account letter from bank

Though seemingly routine and innocuous, the blandly worded statements about what appear to be mundane banking procedures actually contain deadly hidden threats.

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Posted: Jul 27th, 2013
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Royal Mail blame fall in profits on people sending less cash in the post

The Royal Mail have blamed the sharp fall in profits over the last 12 months on a large decrease in the amount of cash being sent in birthday cards that they can steal.

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Posted: Jun 19th, 2011
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‘Being Shadow Chancellor interfered with my post round,’ claims Alan Johnson

Labour’s former Shadow Chancellor, Alan Johnson, yesterday stepped down from frontline politics to spend more time doing his post round.

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Posted: Jan 21st, 2011
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