Gravity switched off due to ‘essential maintenance work’
‘Working towards a greater gravity, for all our futures’
Posted: Dec 21st, 2012
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Posts Tagged ‘LHC’
NASA space probe finds evidence of ‘more bloody stars’
‘We’re on this planet and there are stars in every direction for millions and millions of miles’, said a NASA spokesman. ‘Who really cares?’
Posted: Nov 27th, 2012
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Ministers to consider raising the speed of light
‘Increasing the speed limit would reduce the journey time from the sun to the earth from its current sluggish 8 minutes and 19 seconds, bringing enormous economic benefits by increasing the amount of sunlight we receive and potentially lengthening the day.’
Posted: Sep 10th, 2012
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Scientists capture first glimpse of elusive Clegg boson
Scientists believe they may have recorded their first sighting of the elusive sub-political particle, the Clegg boson, otherwise known as The Sod Particle.
The Clegg’s existence has been postulated for some time as a means to resolving strange inconsistencies in the Standard Political Model, while remaining barely detectable itself.
‘The Clegg is very tiny and only capable of weak interactions,’ explained Professor Jim Al-Khalili, ‘However, despite exerting only a very small force, it appears to play a key role in providing the mass for some of the larger political elements.’
Posted: Dec 13th, 2011
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Large Hadron Collider finds car keys
It cost some £6.2 billion to build, but the Large Hadron Collider may have justified that enormous price tag after it finally located Professor Brian Cox’s lost car keys. The keys were lost by Cox in the 1990s while an undergraduate at the University of Manchester and his 1987 Nissan Micra has remained in an NCP car park ever since.
Posted: Dec 12th, 2011
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