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Posts Tagged ‘Lib Dems’

Chris Huhne starts work on series of escape tunnels

trying to blag a motorbike off some nonce on E wingChris Huhne is to launch an audacious escape bid from Wandsworth prison after finding living conditions inside less than satisfactory. The disgraced MP had originally expected a 5-star hotel, but a brief introductory tour of his wing confronted him with the grim reality of a 3-star Belgian Ibis.

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Posted: Mar 13th, 2013
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God vows to stay awake during by election ‘to stop Lib Dems winning’

After admitting ‘snoozing’ during periods of the recently ended papacy, the Lord has emphasised in a surprising interview with Channel 4 News that he’ll be on black coffees for the next twenty four hours ‘to keep the Lib Dems out at Eastleigh’.

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Posted: Feb 28th, 2013
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Cameron preparing air strike on Eastleigh

The Conservative party will mount an air strike and troop invasion of Eastleigh should the town be recaptured on Thursday by the Lib Dems.

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Posted: Feb 26th, 2013
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Lib Dems lose pub quiz after failing to answer a single answer correctly

The Liberal Democrats have suffered a major defeat in the annual Westminster New Year’s pub quiz. Following 12 rounds, each containing 10 questions, the pub quiz captain, Nick ‘universally challenged’ Clegg failed to understand a question.

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Posted: Jan 10th, 2013
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Nick Clegg to address imaginary delegates at this year’s Lib Dem conference

There must be somebody out there. Anyone?‘Clint Eastwood had an argument with an empty chair regarding its political standpoint. Nick will go one further and address an imaginary political party at an imaginary political conference.’

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Posted: Sep 7th, 2012
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