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Posts Tagged ‘LibDems’

Scientists research into Lib Dem ‘wobble’ shows applied left and right forces

it's just life in a gaited communityLurching from left to right, the Lib Dem ‘wobble’ has baffled scientists for years. Finally, research conducted by Penguin watchers at London Zoo may have unlocked the key to this seemingly inefficient party’s means of mobilisation.

Electronic plates were installed in the corridors of Westminster and BBC studios to measure the level of lurch to the left or right. As Lib Dems trod these paths, scientists were able to gauge how a Lib Dem politician propels himself in political life.

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Posted: Mar 17th, 2015
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UK to lead the world in driverless government by 2016

A long-running trial involving Government not being driven by anyone has been so successful in Wales and the North of England that it will soon be rolled out across the rest of the UK.

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Posted: Feb 16th, 2015
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Tories announce plans to stop Lib Dem MPs voting on English issues

Prime Minister David Cameron has announced plans for a referendum on whether Liberal Democrat MPs should be allowed to vote on English issues. Mr Cameron said the referendum, to be called ‘The General Election’, will stop Liberal Democrats MPs voting on English issues in Parliament after they lose their seat.

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Posted: Feb 3rd, 2015
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Fiona Woolf denies using feathery hat to deflect attention

'Wouldn't have buried her head in the sand'Fiona Woolf has denied using a special feathery hat to divert people’s attention from Home Office and Conservative Party embarrassment. Mrs Woolf stepped down from the chairmanship of the government cover up of child sex abuse after it was argued she ‘wasn’t an appropriate person’ to lead the whitewash.

But Mrs Woolf still maintains she had all the right credentials for leading a complex cover up into a sexual scandal that may have reached into the higher echelons of government, as well as having excellent contacts inside and outside Westminster, and a hat made of black ostrich feathers.

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Posted: Nov 3rd, 2014
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Milliband to try beer

it's more than half full!Labour leader Ed Milliband will try beer, allegedly for the first time, in a bid to woo a wider voter profile. ‘One thing I do like about this pint of beer thing is you get so much!’, said Milliband, dismissing rumours of him being an ‘ale virgin’ who is scared of public houses which might contain public opinion. ‘People are understandably concerned about people coming here from, well abroad, really, and the pressures that puts on our economy. So that makes beer something I have a lot of time for. A pint, that’s nearly an armful!’ joked the Labour leader.

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Posted: Oct 12th, 2014
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