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Posts Tagged ‘Liberal Democrats’

‘Millions died under last Liberal government’ warns Brown

New Liberals, New DangerilablesGordon Brown today launched a scathing attack on the Liberal Democrats, urging voters to remember their track record before casting their vote next week. ‘I’m sure none of us has forgotten what happened the last time we had a Liberal Government’ he warned.

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Posted: May 5th, 2015
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Lib Dems to rebrand as The Second Sons

Drawing upon the immense popularity of The Game of Thrones and recognising his party’s real role on the political landscape, Nick Clegg has announced that the Liberal Democrats will be renamed after the sellsword army The Second Sons.

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Posted: Apr 29th, 2015
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Nick Clegg launches sinister dating site: ‘Salmond, Farage or Me’

the British public finally has a choice of dirty partnerIn attempt to help voters lose their lunch, the Lib Dems have promoted their answer to C4’s ‘The Undateables’. Offering a stark choice of sexual extremes, Nick Clegg has positioned himself as the ‘moderate filling’, sandwiched between the thick, sweaty slabs of the SNP’s Alex Salmond and UKIP’s Nigel Farage.

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Posted: Apr 15th, 2015
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Party leaders replaced by their slogans on campaign trial

electorate relieved that humanity will play no further partIn a shock move, the leaders of the UK’s major political parties have withdrawn from the final month of political campaigning around the country, ahead of the General Election. Their place will be taken the vacuous party slogans penned especially for their campaigns.

The move comes after the Conservatives took their 2015 slogan ‘Tory competence versus Labour chaos’ on a short but successful promotional tour of Cornwall last week. Opinion polls showed the slogan outranking the PM on such criteria as trustworthiness and ability to govern. The final decision to replace the flesh and blood leader was made after papers favoured pictures of the slogan bottle-feeding a baby hedgehog over identical photos featuring Cameron.

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Posted: Apr 10th, 2015
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Fine weather my doing, say all party leaders

turn out's nice againAs days of unusually warm and sunny weather followed on from the first party leaders’ debate, the leaders themselves have been arguing about who deserves the most credit for it.

‘I arranged for the fair weather to start today,’ said David Cameron. ‘I pledge that the next Conservative government will continue to improve the weather in real terms over the next five years.’ He looked annoyed when George Osborne suggested that he had, in fact, created the ‘right climate’ for the good weather.

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Posted: Apr 7th, 2015
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