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Contrite Co-op Bank offers better financial products and great deals on crystal meth

hurry, while stocks can still be manipulatedThe newly appointed chief of the Co-Op Bank, Ursula Lidbetter, has hinted at an ‘exciting and lucrative’ change of direction for the business. At a hastily convened press conference the new Chief Executive, who gave her name only as “Heisenberg”, praised the spirit of mutuality on which the bank has always been based, which meant that customers would now be offered the innovative range of personal solutions that every other High Street Bank and their executives are currently keeping to themselves.

Products on offer include reasonable mortgages, competitive interest on savings and ‘Pure White’ and ‘Crystal Blue’ in small, neatly and discreetly branded packages at very competitive prices.

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Posted: Nov 20th, 2013
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