A government think tank has pledged to resolve the age-old problem of ‘buying for ‘er indoors’ by streamlining women’s clothing sizing. ‘It’s ridiculous that you can have a squat fat woman and a tall streak of piss and both claim to be size ten,’ [read...]
German discount chain Lidl has been appointed the official supermarket of the England football team after signing a multi-million pound three-year deal with the FA to supply water, fish and fresh fruit and vegetables to the players at all games, [read...]
The Chairman of Waitrose PLC today returned from the Munich headquarters of German supermarket chain Lidl, announcing that he had secured an agreement that would ensure ‘no price war in our time’. [read...]
A Derbyshire family were dismayed to discover an equally dismayed Burmese migrant inside a multi-pack of Malaccan-dredged tuna which they had just bought from a newly opened Lidl discount superstore. [read...]
An independent enquiry has revealed that grocery retailer Lidl has become a gateway store, leading the middle classes to try harder discounters like Netto and Poundland. Well-heeled shoppers are enticed in with cut-price flowers and the smell of fresh ciabatta, [read...]
