NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

Posts Tagged ‘literacy’

Lib Dems to eliminate main cause of childhood illiteracy – stupid children

another vote winner!In a bold statement of intent, Liberal Democratic Party leader Nick Clegg has set out his kid-free vision of the future. With a clear manifesto commitment, the Liberal Democrats expect to put an end to small people saying ‘I’m bored’ or ‘It’s not fair’ and monopolising all the jelly. By 2025, the Lib Dems have also promised to eradicate nose-picking in public.

A party spokeswoman explained: ‘We are not going to euthanise the grammatically challenged kiddie-winks as such. That would be cruel and, more to the point, time-consuming. We are just going to reclassify them as ‘stupid very young adults’. As such, they will be legally entitled to vote Liberal Democrat.’

Read more >

Posted: Jan 20th, 2015
More from Education



Trashy sex novels blamed for decline in writing standards

Dorothy Peel, head of the Media Sciences Unit which produced the report, parted her pink, moist lips, slipped her hand down towards her midriff, caressed her womanly cleft, and explained the group’s findings.

Read more >

Posted: Jul 24th, 2012
More from Education



Alphabet reordered ‘to reflect demands of 21st Century’


Getting from A to B is now much more difficult.

Read more >

Posted: Jun 9th, 2011
More from Features



Rise of ebooks threatening children’s traditional Google skills

Google 'doomed'Academics are worried that the surge in popularity of ebook readers could lead to a catastrophic loss of children’s basic Google search skills.

Read more >

Posted: Dec 12th, 2010
More from Education



Internet users on red alert for literate phisher

award of 'crystal mark' for spam clarity could happen anytime soonPhisher is believed to have a GCSE qualification and have access to a dictionary

Read more >

Posted: Sep 6th, 2009
More from Science/Technology