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Posts Tagged ‘Lloyds TSB’

Britain’s banks downgraded to ‘bastards’

'A loan!?! You want a loan?!?'Several other major financial institutions fear they could lose their cherished status of ‘immoral grabbing shitbags’.

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Posted: Aug 7th, 2014
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Notorious criminal boss elects ‘not to accept bonus this year’

lying low until bribery comes back into fashion‘Ordinarily I would be proud to be the target of such accusations, but I think we accept that as an organisation we have underperformed and let people down’.

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Posted: Jun 24th, 2014
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Lloyds TSB to sell 85% of Julie Walters to the treasury

Much-loved actress and comedian Julie Walters, for eight years the voice of Lloyds TSB, is to become, literally, a national treasure. Almost. The ailing bank has been forced to sell an 85% in the Smethwick-born artiste to HM Government, making her the first actress to undergo near-total nationalisation. She is currently valued at £9.73 million.

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Posted: Dec 23rd, 2011
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