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Posts Tagged ‘lloyds’

Banker learns everything would be better if he’d never been born

'Bedford Falls. Wallet Gains'Former Investment Banker, Henry F. Potter, was shocked to discover that life for everyone would be much, much better if he had simply never been born.

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Posted: Dec 6th, 2014
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‘Money spent on Rosetta could have bailed one of us out’, moan banks

10 years to blow £1.1 billion? Hopeless!Despite costing a meagre £1.1bn and possibly changing the course of human civilisation as we know it, the banking community has been quick to dismiss the Rosetta Space Mission as a ‘frivolous boondoggle’.

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Posted: Nov 14th, 2014
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Royal Bank of Scotland to be sold to Betfred.com

Royal Bank of Scotland, 65% owned by UK taxpayers, is to be sold to the online gambling organisation Betfred.com, it has been announced. The exact details of the deal are yet to be revealed, but it is understood that only a nominal payment will be made to ‘take it off your hands, gov.’

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Posted: Apr 25th, 2013
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Bank staff support order to separate into ‘nice bits’ and ‘dodgy bits’

waterboarding now a thing of the past for most customersBritish Banks must ring-fence their ‘well dodgy bits’ and keep them entirely separate from their ‘nice smiley bits’, the Chancellor of the Exchequer has warned. Bank Branch staff have largely supported the idea.

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Posted: Feb 21st, 2013
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Cashpoints now asking if you can really afford it

Automated telling machines are becoming increasingly stingy and are refusing to actually let go of the cash.

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Posted: May 22nd, 2008
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