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Olympics: Week 1 Round-up
The first medal for Burkina Faso came in the Water Polo contest. Not only did they win Gold, but they also beat the Olympic and World record by eating 15 packets of the mints without coming up for air. [read...]
Tagged London 2012
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Popeye takes weightlifting Gold amid doping claims
Judges became suspicious after the ageing and visibly out-of-condition sailor underwent a remarkable transformation after ingesting a large quantity of what he later claimed was spinach. [read...]
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South West Trains hail 200th day of ‘Zero Empty Seats’
‘In stark contrast to the misery that faces Olympics sports fans, our customers haven’t been taunted by an empty seat since January,’ boasted SW Trains boss Matthew Gratton. [read...]
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Medal ceremony to be rerun as athlete fails to bite medal for cameras
Gregor Bibik, the Ukrainian Men’s 4 x 500m Individual Prone champion will have to receive his gold medal for a second time this evening, after journalists moaned that he hadn’t done the thing where the medalist bites his prize. [read...]
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Elite athlete thanks Darwin for ‘gift’ of athletic prowess
Olympic hopeful Mark Jones has dedicated his natural athletic ability to Charles Darwin, after setting a new world record for the 400 metre hurdles.
Interviewed after the race Jones said a few short words to Darwin, [read...]