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Posts Tagged ‘London Olympics’

£100m hole in arts funding nominated for Turner Prize

collectors bidding for the pan it's disappeared downA massive deficit in the budget of the Department for Culture, Media and Sport has been shortlisted for this year’s prestigious Turner Prize.

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Posted: Jul 29th, 2015
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Father discovers hallway closed for two months for Summer Playtime

After a council of 8 year olds voted to spend the summer playing at Martin’s house, Martin’s dad Pete has been informed his hallway will be out of action for the next two months.

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Posted: Jul 17th, 2015
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Nick Clegg launches sinister dating site: ‘Salmond, Farage or Me’

the British public finally has a choice of dirty partnerIn attempt to help voters lose their lunch, the Lib Dems have promoted their answer to C4’s ‘The Undateables’. Offering a stark choice of sexual extremes, Nick Clegg has positioned himself as the ‘moderate filling’, sandwiched between the thick, sweaty slabs of the SNP’s Alex Salmond and UKIP’s Nigel Farage.

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Posted: Apr 15th, 2015
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Olympic legacy under fire for lack of inner city dressage facilities

‘The Olympics were supposed to inspire a generation’, says Hackney youth worker Doreen Phillips, ‘yet our inner cities are still lacking even the most basic equestrian facilities. I work with underprivileged kids who are crying out for a sense of purpose and belonging, and that could be easily provided by forcing horses to dance.’

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Posted: Sep 5th, 2014
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Glasgow kicked out of Commonwealth Games after failing drugs test

Glasgow tested positive for Amphetamine, Barbiturates, Cocaine, Diamorphine, Ecstasy, Feneazepam, Grass, Heroin, Inhalants, Jellies, Ketamine, LSD, Magic Mushrooms, New Psychoactive Substances, Opiates, Puff, Quat, Resin, Smilies, Temazepan, Ultram, Vanilla Sky, Weed, XTC, Yaba and Zoly.

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Posted: Jul 24th, 2014
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