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Posts Tagged ‘London Olympics’

‘Olympic style dancing on NHS beds must stop’ insist top doctors

Following the success of the Olympic opening ceremony, top NHS doctors are now asking patients, especially those with multiple fractures, to refrain from energetic dancing on their beds at all hours of the day and night.

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Posted: Aug 30th, 2012
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Tourist maced by commuter in post-Olympics conversation error

CCTV recording shows the 59-year-old tourist attempting what was thought to have been an Olympic-related quip to an unidentified morning commuter who quickly dispatched him with the debilitating spray.

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Posted: Aug 14th, 2012
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British youth inspired by menial Olympic support roles

‘We hoped that a new generation would dare to dream of one day carrying in the athletes’ tracksuits after a race, or measuring how far the discus was thrown.’

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Posted: Aug 11th, 2012
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Hula-hoops to be replaced by humans in rhythmic gymnastics

But the new rules will allow them to continue wearing tiny glitter-coated leotards and excessive make-up, providing their ‘dance partner’ is in a similar costume.

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Posted: Aug 10th, 2012
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‘Mockney bloodbath’ promised for Olympic closing ceremony

‘My little spectacular is going to be the ‘dog’s trustfunds’, if you know what I’m saying.’ quipped Ritchie, addressing the media. ‘And, yes, there will be broken noses and witty fuckin’ ripostes to your dumb arsed questions.’

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Posted: Aug 10th, 2012
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