Events which will feature in the trial include the 1500m Hurried Early Morning Stroll, the Poo Retrieval Unclean Jerk and the 100m Arse Wipe Across the Hall Carpet.
Posted: Jul 25th, 2012
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British diving hopeful Tom Daly has been forced to compete in a warm-up event wearing only his pants, after forgetting his kit for the 138th consecutive time.
‘I’m really disappointed with Tom. He keeps promising me that he knows where his kit is and will bring it next time, but then he turns up trunkless time and again, and is forced to compete in his pants,’ complained Daly’s manager.
Posted: Jul 25th, 2012
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Britain’s Olympic hopefuls are even more determined to justify their selection, after a long and rambling speech by an office worker described the misery of a more mundane existence.
Posted: Jul 22nd, 2012
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Belgium will not compete in the 2012 Olympics because of a sore throat, according to an announcement made this morning. It’s understood Belgium’s mother wrote the note at the request of the Benelux country.
Posted: Jul 20th, 2012
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A crazed gunman who ran amok with a pistol in a busy shopping centre has been told he faces prosecution for copyright infringement, due to his unauthorised use of the Official Race-Starting Noise of the London 2012 Olympics.
Posted: Jul 19th, 2012
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