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Posts Tagged ‘London Underground’

London commuter confesses: “I don’t know why I’m rushing”

Whoosh... Life's gone.After 30 years of hard labour at a top investment bank, city worker, Alan Baxter, has finally admitted that he no longer needs to rush on the London Underground. This painful realisation has come at the cost of 3 divorces and child support payments to 4 daughters who like Prada but refuse to acknowledge his existence.

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Posted: Jan 28th, 2015
More from UK News



Celebrities to balls-up your commute on Poppy Day

Service announcements at Wood Lane will be replaced by Joey Barton reciting the prologue from Friedrich Nietzsche’s ‘Das Verhältnis der Schopenhauer Ischen Philosophie zu einer deutschen Kultur’, before bursting out of the control office and head-butting commuters on to the track.

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Posted: Oct 29th, 2014
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British Transport Police given ‘stop and spray’ powers of deodorisation

police finally doing something popularUnder newly granted powers of deodorisation, Chief Constable Andrew Trotter has announced, British Transport Police officers will be equipped with industrial strength deodorant and empowered to ‘stop and spray’ malodorous passengers across the country’s rail network.

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Posted: Apr 25th, 2014
More from UK News



Commuters beg Unions to extend tube strike

the fresh air, the view, the mayor of London cycling by...London commuters begged London transport unions tonight to extend the current 48 hour tube strike indefinitely, citing “an immeasurable improvement to our quality of life and general well-being” since suspension of services began.

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Posted: Feb 5th, 2014
More from UK News



London’s new airport will be underground, promises Boris Johnson

A high-speed tunnel leading to the runway will start at Dover, marked by a giant bullseye on the white cliffs.

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Posted: Jul 11th, 2012
More from News In Brief