London Zoo annual census reveals missing ant
‘London Zoo holds more than 15,000 creatures,’ said Zoological Director, David Field. ‘So why, oh why did it have to be the ant that got away?’
Posted: Jan 8th, 2010
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London Zoo faced with closure as all animals fail CRB checks
A top tourist attraction faced an uncertain future last night as it transpired that every single animal residing within the facility has an inappropriate past, rendering them ineligible to come into contact with the millions of children who visit the zoo every year. ‘We were horrified to find this exhalted children’s insitution awash with murderers, thieves and gross sexual offenders,’ said a representative of Westminster Council. ‘How on Earth can we possibly sanction the exposure of our children to a place where every single inhabitant boasts a public decency conviction for appearing naked in public? Except for Jim Lad the Parrot, of course, with whom the board was satisfied that the roller skates he dons for his twice-daily show constituted suitable attire.’
Posted: Sep 15th, 2009
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