The woman, who cannot be named for legal reasons, was spotted by a tourist as she smirked her was across the park, failing to wear a face like she was giving birth to a breach baby or a man having thumbscrews tightened on his testicles. [read...]
London has expressed its regret for any misunderstanding caused by citizens coming together to deal with a terrorist incident last week. The capital wishes to reassure everyone that such behaviour is very rare, and the practice of ignoring all other people within one’s vicinity while frantically going about one’s daily business has been fully restored. [read...]
Michael Seuss from East London today explained why he bitterly regrets teaching his 5 year old Tom Cat to speak. Inspired by TV programmes such as You’ve Been Framed, the currently unemployed engineer, spent months patiently teaching Eric to turn his purrs into recognisable human speech. [read...]
With many of the capital’s residents not using or even owning a car, it was feared they could miss out on the fun of needlessly queuing for something that is not currently in short supply. [read...]
The Highways Agency has condemned pranksters who last night reconfigured the M25 in to a giant figure-of-eight, and branded their actions as ‘short-sighted, potentially dangerous and extremely silly’. [read...]
