The UK economy grew by an extra 0.002% last months thanks mainly to the sales of consumer goods like mopeds and hammers while sales in luxury items such as mobile phones, Fist Aid kits and handbags also showed a healthy increase. [read...]
Frustrated with the legacy of police cuts, the failure of ‘stop and politely enquire’ and with Mayor Khan apparently hiding under his desk, Home Secretary Amber Rudd has taken the knife crime epidemic into her own hands. [read...]
The Highways Agency has condemned pranksters who last night reconfigured the M25 in to a giant figure-of-eight, and branded their actions as ‘short-sighted, potentially dangerous and extremely silly’. [read...]
A middle class couple from Chiswick, west London, have bought the whole county of Yorkshire. ‘We’d been thinking for a while we needed more space, what with a second child on the way,’ said Annabel Williamson. [read...]
Following the decision to scrap ‘grid girls’, Formula 1 bosses have announced from next season cars will line up alongside men who were born within the sound of Bow Bells. These ‘grid Cockneys’ will still hold umbrellas to shade drivers, [read...]
