Matt Hancock has announced plans to cull northerners in order to ease the strain on the NHS and ensure hospital capacity is available to treat sick, important Londoners. The move comes on the back of reports that patients had been transferred from over-stretched London hospitals to intensive care as far away as Newcastle, [read...]
There were scenes of grown men weeping in the streets and whole families queuing to sign books of remembrance following the resignation of Dominic Cummings. ‘Why oh why did he need to go?’ was a common refrain as remainers and leavers joined together as never before as Cummings climbed into his car and drove off… [read...]
Jake Berry, Conservative MP for the Yorcashire constituency of Clichédale, has suggested that northerners prefer football to ballet and opera because, unlike southerners, they’re not big girls’ blouses who can’t kick a ball. “That London, [read...]
The virtually non-London, virtual London Marathon, which now enables runners to complete their race in isolation around their local area, has been revealed as the latest figures-massaging gasp of a government mired in cack-handed confusion. [read...]
With rumours abounding that there is a curse on the London 2012 Olympic Games following a series of deaths of competing athletes, by a strange coincidence it has been revealed that 100% of athletes who competed in the 1908 London Olympics have also died. [read...]
