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Posts Tagged ‘London’

London declares war on Yorkshire

Hague: "Your county needs you!"In a stunning new development in the fight against terror, London has declared war on Yorkshire.

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Posted: Jul 23rd, 2015
More from Politics

‘Elephant & Castle’ attraction to be reopened after death crash

The popular Elephant & Castle roundabout in London’s ‘World of Traffic’ theme park was reopened today just minutes after it claimed another victim. Head of Customer Experience and Roads Robert Goodwill said that, although the accident – and the many more before it, and the countless others that will follow it – were regrettable, closing the attraction would be ‘an over-reaction’.

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Posted: Jun 10th, 2015
More from News In Brief

Salmond to run for London Mayor

‘Of course, I’m hoping to become an MP – the expenses are better and with enough SNP MPs in Parliament we can force the canteen to deep fry Mars bars the Holyrood way,’ said Alex Salmond today, ‘but if that doesnae pan out, I’m going tae run for London Mayor.’

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Posted: Apr 24th, 2015
More from News In Brief

Boris Johnson launches new ‘Bicycle-Water-Cannons-For-Hire’ scheme

feel the power‘I have already spent the day hosing down the hoi polloi.’

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Posted: Apr 6th, 2015
More from From The Archives

London commuter confesses: “I don’t know why I’m rushing”

Whoosh... Life's gone.After 30 years of hard labour at a top investment bank, city worker, Alan Baxter, has finally admitted that he no longer needs to rush on the London Underground. This painful realisation has come at the cost of 3 divorces and child support payments to 4 daughters who like Prada but refuse to acknowledge his existence.

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Posted: Jan 28th, 2015
More from UK News