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Posts Tagged ‘Louis Walsh’

One Direction film goes through UCAS clearing

there must be a scholarship for what they doThe University Clearing Service UCAS has confirmed a late application for a Music Technology BSc at the University of Bedfordshire from One Direction. Wary that fickle fame might desert them, the Anglo-Irish pop band admitted they needed to ‘get serious’ after what they described as a very enjoyable gap year. However, UCAS administrators had some reservations about the number of tariff points accumulated from the boys’ scant collection of mediocre GCSEs, used panties and coloured bits of string.

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Posted: Aug 22nd, 2013
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Embassies on ‘red alert’ as Westlife hints at Comeback Tour

‘All early indications suggest that Manilow and ABBA medleys will soon be unleashed on an unsuspecting public’, warned Twitter UK boss, Tony Wang.

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Posted: Aug 6th, 2013
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Simon Cowell slams German artist’s robot band

After the news a German artist has created ‘Compressorhead’, the first robot metal band, music mogul Simon Cowell has hit back claiming to have been inventing mechanical bands for years.

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Posted: Apr 15th, 2013
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Jedward ‘may have been switched at birth’

The brothers themselves were said to be speechless at the news, albeit briefly. ‘It’s amazing’ shouted John, or possibly Edward.

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Posted: Feb 10th, 2012
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Future monarchs to be chosen by ITV talent show ‘The Rex Factor’

Cowell sure this is the way to crack AmericaChanges to the royal succession laws unveiled this week mean that future potential kings and queens of the United Kingdom will now be selected by a new ITV talent show.

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Posted: Oct 31st, 2011
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