‘Let’s make it really special by waiting just that bit longer and saving it to celebrate getting vaccinated.’
‘I’m concerned about the kids’ fragile emotional state, should we really risk disturbing their sleep at the moment?’ [read...]
A couple who used to do really cool romantic stuff on Valentine’s Day in the early stages of their relationship, have admitted they did ‘fuck all’ last night. This seems to back up relationship experts’ theories that the much hyped day of love is really just a ‘bunch of arse’. [read...]
Prime Minister May is to hold ‘intimate talks’ with French President Emmanuel Macron, while being forced to choose between love, economic union or a Brexit dividend of at least £50,000. Subsequently the delectable duo will test their physical and mental ability – which does not bode well for Mrs May. [read...]
A man has apologised unreservedly for taking his wife’s guidance on what to buy her as an anniversary gift literally. [read...]
Experts are celebrating a major breakthrough in modern dating after Suzanne Roberts, a single woman from Nottingham, met and fell for a man she conceded was ‘not conventionally attractive,’ but did possess a great sense of humour. [read...]
