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Posts Tagged ‘luggage’

Ryanair offers budget air strikes

Ryanair today announced today that it would offer economy air strikes on extremist positions, if they happened to be along existing flight paths. ‘We get people to where they need to go,’ said CEO Michael O’Leary, ‘and if those people happen to be air-to-surface missiles that need to go up some nutcase’s arse, then we can accommodate them at the lowest price.’

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Posted: Sep 24th, 2014
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UK wheeled luggage population continues to soar

Many owners say that wheeled luggage has revolutionised their lives. ‘It gives me a much needed excuse to go down the pub’ beamed new owner Steve Browning. ‘I just tell the missus I’m taking the bag for a walk and pop in for a sly pint or two’.

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Posted: May 27th, 2010
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Left Luggage; ‘My terror suspect hell’

An innocent black Samsonite briefcase has spoken out after being detained without charge by British Transport Police under anti-terrorism laws. The bag was situated on the concourse of Heathrow Airport’s Terminal 2 at around 10am, and by 10:15 the item was surrounded by police and sniffer dogs.

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Posted: Apr 12th, 2009
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