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Posts Tagged ‘Luis Suarez’

FIFA rules Luis Suárez must be fed before matches

'om nom nom', as they say in UruguayAfter reviewing footage of Tuesday’s incident in which Luis Suárez appeared to help himself to a chunk of Italy defender Giorgio Chiellini, Fifa has instructed the Uruguay striker’s handlers to ensure that he is ‘fed prior to all future matches’.

‘Ninety minutes is a long time to go without a snack, so it’s understandable that Luis began to feel a little peckish’, said FIFA’s head chef, Sepp Blatter. ‘Yet no matter how tasty an Italy defender may appear to a famished striker, we really must insist that he lunches before, rather than during, competitive fixtures.’

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Posted: Jun 25th, 2014
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Unguarded moment confirms Gerrard now officially ‘Creature of the Night’

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Posted: Jun 25th, 2014
More from News In Brief



Uruguay’s new drug laws give England outside chance in World Cup

dope is the only hopeEngland football manager Roy Hodgson has welcomed Uruguay’s decision to allow the cultivation, possession and personal use of marijuana as a potential boost to England’s seemingly forlorn hope of qualifying from a tough group in the World Cup and going on to lose on penalties to Portugal in the knock-out stages.

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Posted: Dec 12th, 2013
More from Sport



Suarez rejects Liverpool Care Pathway

The Liverpool Care Pathway, developed to support footballers near to advertising death, is meant to offer a peaceful and dignified transfer.

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Posted: Aug 11th, 2013
More from News In Brief



British population to be dyed purple in fight against racism

equality for everyone, but Green Party raising objections‘It will be impossible to be a racist if everyone is the same colour purple. Our public information campaign will be fronted by John Terry, Luis Suarez and Diane Abbott.’

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Posted: Jan 15th, 2012
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