‘One minute a member of Bumps ‘n’ Babes was sledging a Costa baby for having a sub-average birth weight and the next they’re all pulling Tommy Guns out of their change bags and shooting the place up,’ reported a Cobham café owner. ‘It wouldn’t have been so bad if they’d spent some money first, but 23 of them had shared one slice of banoffee pie all morning.’
Posted: Jul 10th, 2013
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A leading Hollywood producer has gone into hiding after waking early on Monday morning to find a pack of Tesco own brand beef-burgers defrosting in his bed.
Posted: Jan 17th, 2013
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Former papal butler Paolo Gabriele has broken down in an Italian court and begged to be locked up, after receiving threats from the Vatican to ‘make that scene from Reservoir Dogs look like a Harvest f*cking Festival.’
Posted: Sep 30th, 2012
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Mobsters, hit-men, and serial assassins have joined forces to condemn new European Union regulations which prohibit any persons that have a ‘beef with the boss’ being ‘checked into the wooden Waldorf’ unless they have given their express written permission in triplicate first.
Posted: Jun 18th, 2012
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A delegation of US and Italian politicians have launched a high-profile conference in London to teach British politicians how to stop fannying about claiming Commons expenses for gardening costs, and switch to proper corruption like dumping your ex-lover’s body in the local river and then having the judge trying you shot by a hitman.
Posted: Jun 11th, 2012
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