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Posts Tagged ‘MAFIA’

Mafia to pay compensation to protection racket victims

cosy no-stringsMafia bosses have agreed to pay compensation to customers who were mis-sold protection which may not have suited their requirements.

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Posted: Jun 20th, 2014
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‘Mafioso could be behind burger threat’ warn NYPD

A leading Hollywood producer has gone into hiding after waking early on Monday morning to find a pack of Tesco own brand beef-burgers defrosting in his bed.

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Posted: Jan 17th, 2013
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Pope’s ex-butler pleads ‘lock me up’ after Vatican threatens ‘almighty kicking’

benedictus sanctusFormer papal butler Paolo Gabriele has broken down in an Italian court and begged to be locked up, after receiving threats from the Vatican to ‘make that scene from Reservoir Dogs look like a Harvest f*cking Festival.’

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Posted: Sep 30th, 2012
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Mobsters bemoan new EU ‘opt-in assassination’ clause

Mobsters, hit-men, and serial assassins have joined forces to condemn new European Union regulations which prohibit any persons that have a ‘beef with the boss’ being ‘checked into the wooden Waldorf’ unless they have given their express written permission in triplicate first.

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Posted: Jun 18th, 2012
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US politicians to offer ‘effective corruption training’ to UK MPs

A delegation of US and Italian politicians have launched a high-profile conference in London to teach British politicians how to stop fannying about claiming Commons expenses for gardening costs, and switch to proper corruption like dumping your ex-lover’s body in the local river and then having the judge trying you shot by a hitman.

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Posted: Jun 11th, 2012
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