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Posts Tagged ‘MAFIA’

‘Save the Charities’ charity launched

A new charity has been launched to save British charities and ‘especially’ their Chief Executives from extinction. With many coming under increased pressure to ‘ask nicely’ for donations, instead of targeting known dementia sufferers and holding them upside down by their ankles while fleecing their bank accounts.

An STC spokesman said: ‘Donations are at an all time low just when charity boss expectations are rising…

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Posted: Sep 7th, 2015
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Mafia to pay compensation to protection racket victims

cosy no-stringsMafia bosses have agreed to pay compensation to customers who were mis-sold protection which may not have suited their requirements.

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Posted: Jun 20th, 2014
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‘Mafioso could be behind burger threat’ warn NYPD

A leading Hollywood producer has gone into hiding after waking early on Monday morning to find a pack of Tesco own brand beef-burgers defrosting in his bed.

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Posted: Jan 17th, 2013
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Pope’s ex-butler pleads ‘lock me up’ after Vatican threatens ‘almighty kicking’

benedictus sanctusFormer papal butler Paolo Gabriele has broken down in an Italian court and begged to be locked up, after receiving threats from the Vatican to ‘make that scene from Reservoir Dogs look like a Harvest f*cking Festival.’

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Posted: Sep 30th, 2012
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Mobsters bemoan new EU ‘opt-in assassination’ clause

Mobsters, hit-men, and serial assassins have joined forces to condemn new European Union regulations which prohibit any persons that have a ‘beef with the boss’ being ‘checked into the wooden Waldorf’ unless they have given their express written permission in triplicate first.

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Posted: Jun 18th, 2012
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