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Posts Tagged ‘Mail Online’

Hundreds of Page 3 girls released from captivity

Carly, 19, from Essex has a thing or two to say about it...Hundreds of Page 3 girls were seen fleeing from The Sun offices today. It is thought some may have escaped from their captors while others were freed as The Mail Online closed in on its territory. The two groups have recently been engaged in a fierce battle, forcing The Sun to retreat to the moral high-ground.

One witness described the scene as ‘chaos’ as the girls, many of them emaciated, half-clothed and barely out of childhood, ran from the paper’s headquarters in Fleet Street and were bundled into nearby taxis. Nothing is known of the fate of a smaller number of Page 7 fellas previously abducted from various stripping dance troupes, who remain missing.

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Posted: Jan 21st, 2015
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Daily Mail website to be given ‘Moral Panic button’

Could have saved thousands of lives if introduced sooner. Mail now investigating.Clicking button will automatically notify relevant authorities that ‘something must be done’.

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Posted: Sep 2nd, 2014
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Daily Mail joins long list of Clooney rejects

Read it and weepFollowing in the petite footsteps of Lisa Snowden, the Mail Online has been forced to finally accept that the ‘grey fox’, George Clooney, will never hold them in his big strong arms.

The newspaper’s jealous response to Mr. Clooney’s engagement to Amal Alamuddin has led to Clooney refusing to accept phone calls, bouquets of roses and romantic editorials about ‘stinky immigrants’ from the lovesick tabloid.

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Posted: Jul 13th, 2014
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Mail Online to get ‘sidebar of sidebar of shame’

The Mail Online’s fascinatingly distasteful sidebar of shame is to get its own sidebar of even greater shame. The sidebar-bar will feature SHOCKING pictures showing more close up cellulite on B list thighs; greater concern over whether underage teenage daughters of the not so famous SHOULD be so skimpily dressed and fuller coverage of ex models’ struggles with weight loss, partially-shaven reality TV stars and cosmetic surgery.

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Posted: Jul 28th, 2013
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Scientists develop formula for ‘the perfect Daily Mail reader comment’

moan moan moan moan moanScientists in Stevenage were celebrating last night after developing a formula that provides a ‘perfect Daily Mail reader comment’, guaranteeing the optimum number of green arrows regardless of the article topic in question.

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Posted: Mar 23rd, 2013
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