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Posts Tagged ‘Mail Online’

Daily Mail website to be given ‘Moral Panic button’

Could have saved thousands of lives if introduced sooner. Mail now investigating.Clicking button will automatically notify relevant authorities that ‘something must be done’.

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Posted: Sep 2nd, 2014
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Daily Mail joins long list of Clooney rejects

Read it and weepFollowing in the petite footsteps of Lisa Snowden, the Mail Online has been forced to finally accept that the ‘grey fox’, George Clooney, will never hold them in his big strong arms.

The newspaper’s jealous response to Mr. Clooney’s engagement to Amal Alamuddin has led to Clooney refusing to accept phone calls, bouquets of roses and romantic editorials about ‘stinky immigrants’ from the lovesick tabloid.

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Posted: Jul 13th, 2014
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Mail Online to get ‘sidebar of sidebar of shame’

The Mail Online’s fascinatingly distasteful sidebar of shame is to get its own sidebar of even greater shame. The sidebar-bar will feature SHOCKING pictures showing more close up cellulite on B list thighs; greater concern over whether underage teenage daughters of the not so famous SHOULD be so skimpily dressed and fuller coverage of ex models’ struggles with weight loss, partially-shaven reality TV stars and cosmetic surgery.

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Posted: Jul 28th, 2013
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Scientists develop formula for ‘the perfect Daily Mail reader comment’

moan moan moan moan moanScientists in Stevenage were celebrating last night after developing a formula that provides a ‘perfect Daily Mail reader comment’, guaranteeing the optimum number of green arrows regardless of the article topic in question.

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Posted: Mar 23rd, 2013
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