Climatologists across the globe have expressed concern that the retirement of Sir Alex Ferguson will result in temperatures being lowered across the planet. The impact of no-hairdrying on match days and the elimination of daily assaults against the BBC is expected to reduce temperatures by around 15 degrees Celsius and may lead to icebergs forming in the Red Sea.
Posted: May 10th, 2013
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The successor to Sralex Ferguson as the manager of Manchester United has been chosen via a series of elimination tests, resulting in many hopeful managers losing any chance of ever enjoying ‘the big time’. Throughout the season, a large number of eager applicants with ridiculously over-inflated opinions of their abilities have been trialled but have failed spectacularly, and been summarily dismissed with the chilling words: ‘You’re fired’.
Posted: May 9th, 2013
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At the end of each of the last matches in the Premier league this season, extra time will be played as usual but a further seven minutes will then be added in honour of Sir Alex Ferguson who announced his retirement from Manchester United today.
Posted: May 8th, 2013
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Statue features him in his trademark pose of pointing to his watch.
Posted: May 8th, 2013
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The FA and several opposing club supporters trusts have criticised Manchester United Football Club for releasing news of their loss to rivals Manchester City on the day of ex Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher’s passing.
Posted: Apr 10th, 2013
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