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Footballers rush to beat WAG transfer deadline
A day of frenzied activity as footballers rushed to beat the 6.00pm cut off for transferring girlfriends, wives and mistresses. [read...]
Tagged Manchester United
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‘I own the van and my mum washes the kit,’ Rooney reminds team-mates
Wayne Rooney has provided a timely reminder to fellow Manchester United players of his value to the team, following his appearance on the subs bench last weekend and ongoing speculation that he is out of favour with new manager Jose Mourinho. [read...]
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Beckham reveals years of training to become England’s first-choice perfumier
Former underwear model David Beckham has finally spoken out about the years of intense training and painstaking practice which he had to endure to finally establish himself as England’s undisputed first-choice perfumier. [read...]
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Clark Kent admits taking out ‘Super-injunction’
The revelation is particularly embarrassing as Mr Kent works as a mild-mannered reporter for the Daily Planet which had been campaigning for an end to the use of the law courts to protect celebrities from prying newspapers. [read...]
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Parallel universe 2016 explains what went wrong
The year 2016 has re-emerged from a parallel universe where it has been in an induced coma since 9 January and apologised for everything that has gone wrong in his absence. He also offered to reinstate the scheduled events of the last eleven months. [read...]