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Posts Tagged ‘Manchester United’

Grim Reaper traumatised by encounter with David Moyes

‘It was meant to be a supportive gesture,’ said the Reaper. ‘I held the blade close to his face simply to remind him what silverware looked like. But it backfired spectacularly when I smelled the stench of decay.’

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Posted: Apr 21st, 2014
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World leaders express concern as Liverpool annex Man Utd

it's for the best in the long runLeaders around the world have resolutely condemned the annexation of Manchester United football club by Liverpool FC despite a hastily held referendum showing 95.5% support among the Man U fans for secession to its more powerful neighbour.

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Posted: Mar 17th, 2014
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Shearer under investigation for prolonged use of ‘inverse quenelle’ celebration

Legendary ex-England footballer, turned-pundit, Alan Shearer, could face retrospective action if found guilty of a career’s use of the so-called ‘inverse-quenelle’ salute as his celebration for scoring.

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Posted: Jan 25th, 2014
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Moyes urged to sign Schadenfreude

With Manchester United making an unprecedentely poor start to the season, beleagured new manager David Moyes has vowed to expand the squad during the January transfer window. And the player that fans are talking about – particularly the fans of other clubs – is German international, Helmut Schadenfreude.

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Posted: Oct 30th, 2013
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Wayne Rooney told to choose between hair loss treatments

Unsettled Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney has been told that he needs to end speculation about his future and decide once-and-for-all which hair loss product he wishes to be associated with.

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Posted: Aug 27th, 2013
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